Remember Our Love
by Gitana
Summary: Buffy finds out about the events in 'I will Remember You'
1. My Angel

"**Remember Our Love"**

**By**: Gitana  
**Summary**: Buffy finds out about the events in "I Will Remember You" (Angel, S1 Ep. 8)  
**Spoilers**: Angel, S1 Ep. 8  
**Disclaimer**: Basically, it all belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon.  
**Timeline**: Early "Angel" S5

"It can't be! I would remember... How could I forget something like that?" Buffy sat down on her bed and sighed with confusion. "How could I?"

She had wandered from corner to corner, a hand over her mouth. Her sunny blonde hair was up in a ponytail; it looked as if she had just woken up from a deep sleep, in fact she had. Her green twinkling eyes were gloom, the color of dark stormy clouds; her blue pajamas were tussled. From the corner of her left eye a tear trailed.

"How is this possible?" she asked again with a shaky voice, wiping away a lonely tear with as Willow began telling her the story.

Buffy had cried many times in her life, but the pain, this pain had no name, no face; she didn't know how to cry for this when crying didn't seem enough. She remained mildly startled. She sat on her bed, strong, unmovable. Her room was poorly lit and bursting with shadows. It was late, it was so very late.

At the time Willow had vowed to keep Angel's secret. The last time she reattached his soul his secrets were revealed to her. Afterward they retrieved to an empty room where they stared silently at each other for what felt like forever.

"You have power, Willow. More than I'm used to seeing from you," Angel said looking intensely in to Willow's rainbow eyes.

"Does it bother you?" she asked. Truth be told, she feared her own power.

"The things you've seen...Willow, that was my whole life."

"I know." Willow could not hide her embarrassment.

"How did that happen?"

"These forces inside me Angel, they're not only strong, they are very, very curious."

"That sounds dangerous."

"It is."

"I can't let you go without a promise; I know what you saw. I know you saw I was a man four years ago and that Buffy and I... Well, you saw it. I can't let you leave without explaining the reasons, why I did what I did."

"I'm sorry but I had to tell you." Willow sat next to her friend, holding her hand.

"I know he did it for the greater good. I know, Will, I know. It's the fact that I can't remember. It's not fair."

Buffy had shed exactly one tear.

"I have to call him." Buffy's voice had an edge to it now. She hesitated for a moment. Buffy turned to her friend and softly touched her face. "Look at you Will, you have Brazil skin." Willow smiled faintly.

"I have to tell you something else," Willow said.

After his experience with Willow, Angel felt both violated and safe. Secrets weigh people down, especially if they're dead. For Angel, those carried more than painful memories, but somehow, sharing the burden with Willow for a few moments, knowing that she understood, made a difference, even if he realized she would tell Buffy eventually. Angel also feared her power, the things she could do.

_She could destroy the world_, Angel went around in his head. _Or worse_. Angel gazed through a window, searched the crowded streets from a small apartment. Outside an older man around fifty held a sign reading 'THE END IS NEAR.' His hair was long and dirty, and he was barely dressed. Angel had a fascinated look on his face.

"It's late; we're not going to find anything here. Let's go." The vampire felt curious and began looking outside the window too. "Hey! Look at that! It's been a while since I've seen one of those."

"Well Spike, maybe he was thinking the same thing."

"Fancy that."

"What now, Will?"

"Angel told me not to tell you."

"Yes, I... I guessed that part. Why did you?"

"I think he wanted me to, in a way. He'd want you to know because you can't be together, but in a way, you always will."

"He has carried that burden for so long, he deserves to share it with me."

"I mean, 'the end is coming'? The end is already here, mate. Accept it, Angel..."

"Spike, shut up!" Angel looked around. "Willow told her..."

"Huh?"


	2. My Fight

**Ch. 2 "My Fight"**

She didn't know he knew.

Buffy and Willow were in L.A. Buffy needed closure after all. After all Angel was...Angel. She had to go see him. She had to go tell him.

"What's going on?"

"It's not working! I can't find him," Willow answered, vaguely squinting.

"Maybe it was the trip, you look exhausted."

"No, Buffy, I just can't find him. These little yellow dots represent every demon here in Los Angeles; I should be able to tell which one is Angel. Nothing's wrong this time, he's just not there."

Buffy sighed in frustration. "Maybe he's gone."

"No... I feel him alright. I just can't tell where he is exactly."

Willow was trying her hardest to make the locator spell work. _It's been a while_, Willow thought. She tried to remember the last time she ever had to do one of those. "In fact, _I am_ forgetting something," Willow whispered. "There he is..." She took a closer look to confirm. "Buffy!"

Angel knew she thought this entire situation was horribly unfair. Given a second chance, he wouldn't have done it. Amazed as he was, he reflected on how much everything had changed in four years.

How simple it had been back then to give up his humanity, to choose death, just like that.

"Vampire! Did you even think of the consequences?"

Angel turned around, confused. "What is this? Why are you here?"

"We have come to warn you of the danger you have caused yourself by letting the girl find out."

The Powers That Be were floating on top of a sea of fire. Their voice was dizzying, as if it was coming from another dimension.

"You…died."

"We're blazing energy. We can't be killed."

"But..."

"Our spirits live forever. Listen! We don't have enough time here."

"What danger?" Angel felt a sting coming directly for his heart.

"The girl is coming to see you. You must deny everything."

"What? Slow down."

"Time can fold back. Lying will not help. It is too late for that. Fix it. It is too late."

"Hey! Too late for what?"

The Powers That Be vanished. A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts. _Buffy._ He didn't have a plan.

"Angel."

The last time they saw each other the world was ending and he was walking away. He loved her. That much was clear. He always had.

"Buffy…"

"Hey." She was blushing.

"Don't."

Buffy's face went grey. "Excuse me?"

"I don't have anything to say right now."

"What?"

"Listen, I, uh, I know about Willow's spell, how powerful it is…"

The disappointment in Buffy's face was heartbreaking. She couldn't believe another encounter of theirs had gone bad so quickly. It started to rain as the sun went down, giving birth to a dark child.

Neither of them spoke. _It is too late. Time can fold back._

"Oh no…" Angel realized. "It can't be. What have I done?"

"What's going with you?"

Angel felt as if Buffy could read his every thought. He looked stunned, bewildered and desperate. Buffy stepped back. Angel looked crazy. "Buffy, go back to Willow. Go back now," he muttered.

"What is going on?"

"Go! If I say anything else, I will just… ruin your life."

"It's not like you haven't before."

"It's too late," he said with pain.

Buffy gave up. "You're not making any sense."

Angel sat down on the couch ignoring Buffy, distracted by every drop of rain. The sound of water made him think of all the things he'd like washed away. Of all the things he'd like to forget.

"This is my fight, Buffy, my burden, my war. I'm alone in here with you. I'm alone in this no matter where I am."

"That was before."

Angel chuckled. "We've been proven wrong. Now I understand that no matter how together we are I'm alone in this, always alone. It's my destiny to suffer for the things I have to give up in order to finish a battle I have no hope of winning. It's my choice."

"It's _my_ choice also."

"It's my memory. I'm sorry I can't share it with you but if you don't go, Buffy. If you don't go..."

Defeated and unable to suffer one more blow, Buffy decided to leave.

"It was beautiful you know," Angel spoke.

Without turning around, she started crying. Buffy walked away while Angel kept talking to himself like a mad man. The rain kept falling over L.A. The seeds in the ground were turning green.

**-THE END-**


End file.
